Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
