the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
