It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
