Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
