Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
3 2 1 whiskey
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
