anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
