Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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