I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
