So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
