you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
