I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
