so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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