Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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