1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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