it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
