i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
