ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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