why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
