When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
