she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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