I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
