The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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