In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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