I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
