Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
