If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
