your thong is hanging out like whoa
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
