why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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