Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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