She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
