I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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