i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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