Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
