btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
