im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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