My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
