i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
they're like a gay fantastic four
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
