Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
