thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
