Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
