We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
