Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
