Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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