I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
