What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
