Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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