I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
