the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
