I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
