Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
