After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
