ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
