I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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