So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
