Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
